Turn the Heart of the Fathers to the Children

 

This past weekend, against my better judgement, I attended a family retreat hosted by my church. As a single, childless person, who recently lost the last semblance of family I had, these retreats are viewed with great trepidation. However, in this case, “trouble [was] greater in anticipation than in reality”. The general theme of the weekend’s presentations was improving communication. Family worship, forgiveness, active listening, among other things, were all addressed. All things applicable to life and general interpersonal relationships. There was one vital aspect of family life that I must observe was overlooked – parent-children communication.

This subject is of particular interest to me because, personally, I can see shortcomings in my own life that could have been better handled had I been more open with my parents about certain topics. As is customary at these retreats husbands and wives are brought together to learn about communicating with each other and their children are separated from them, to learn important things from someone who, though well qualified and conscientious, is a stranger. This is what is resulting in the breakdown in all of society, parents and children being separated from each other. And with each successive generation the gap is widened until the latest generation knows nothing of the generations gone before. This was the underlying issue and running theme in the book of Judges. As one generation died out, the subsequent generation knew nothing of the experiences of that past generation and therefore forgot God.

“And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he judged Israel, and went out to war: and the LORD delivered Chushanrishathaim king of Mesopotamia into his hand; and his hand prevailed against Chushanrishathaim. And the land had rest forty years. And Othniel the son of Kenaz died.

And the children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD: and the LORD strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel, because they had done evil in the sight of the LORD. Judges 3:10-12”

God had instructed the Israelites to communicate with their children about Him and their experiences with Him (their testimony):

“Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:3-7”

The prophet of God has admonished parents to encourage openness with their, children yet we perpetuate the societally constructed divide.

“Parents should encourage their children to confide in them, and unburden to them their heart griefs, their little daily annoyances and trials. Thus the parents can learn to sympathize with their children, and can pray with and for them, that God would shield and guide them. They should point them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor, who will be touched with the feeling of their infirmities, who was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin. Satan tempts children to be reserved with their parents, and to choose as their confidants their young and inexperienced companions. Children would be saved from many evils if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank with them, to come to them with their difficulties, and when they are perplexed as to what course is right, to lay the matter, just as they view it, before their parents, and ask their advice.--"Testimony," No. 10. {CE 238.2}”

“Children would be saved from many evils if they were more familiar with their parents. Parents should encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank, and come to them with their difficulties, and lay the matter just as they view it before their parents, and ask advice of them. Who are so well calculated to see and point out their dangers as godly parents? Who can understand the peculiar temperaments of their own children as well as they? The mother who has watched every turn of the mind from infancy, and is acquainted with the natural disposition, is well prepared to counsel her children. Who can tell as well what traits of character to check and restrain, as the mother, counselled by the father?  {ST, February 26, 1880 par. 4}”

In the book of Malachai we read about events at the end of the world. The running theme there, are the consequences for turning away from God’s law which He gave to Moses on Mt. Horeb. The same law He instructed parents to teach to their children constantly in the book of Deuteronomy. Then the chapter ends with a promise to send Elijah the prophet:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Malachi 4:5-6”

As God’s last-day church, who are to be heralding His imminent return, is it not our duty to be highlighting this message of turning parents to children and children to parents? Note the consequences of this not being done. This is why we have not power as a church, we have turned away from God’s explicit instructions on the repairs that need to be done. I pray that the next such event will have as the focus parents and children connecting and learning to communicate openly with each other.